It may have been a Greek/Roman policy, but they certainly didn’t start it. Abram (later called Abraham) was a man destined to father a nation. Yes, but He had made that promise earlier as well. Even though I study it now, the study of it does not make me reject Jesus as savior. As far as I last checked, Seth was clearly named. Hosea 3:4 "For the children of Israel shall abide many days without a king, and without a prince, and without a sacrifice, and without an image, and without an ephod, and [without] teraphim:" –  Ecclesiastes 9:9. I really appreciate this! 5:25), and Hosea is an outstanding biblical example of that kind of love. All the advice for dealing with marriages is within that context. Discover the memorable truths that have guided Dr. Stanley's life for many years. There is little need for a second wife. No kids from prior marriages or experiences. So ends the polygamy of Gideon. From Lamech’s words later on it seems that the habit of killing had continued in this family, and, as we see in the rest of the Bible, when a group splits off from God’s people, they tend to go wayward in many aspects of their life. Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph. If God HIMSELF choose more than one wife…then how is that not the “Ideal”? I welcome any clarification. Isaac had one wife–happiness and peace Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, Lamech had multiples–all have strife. That’s not a misquote…. (De Wette II, 459, ibid., pp. There can be only one soulmate because the soulmate is your other half; this is the definition in Judaism as well as the mainstream definition. I mean all the pleasurable things about marriage including just emotional comfort. Join in January and get a free copy of our Truth or Dare printable. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. As a lily among brambles,     so is my love among the young women. Actually, they asked a few questions over multiple emails. He cannot give his flesh again since it is no longer his to give–it belongs to the first wife. • It’s simply His perfect will. HE says HE has more than one wife in many different ways. Interested to hear your thoughts as always. He in effect trapped many women in a marriage where they had no hope of having any children, and no hope of any kind of relationship with their husband. All answers are REVIEWED and MODERATED. It is unnatural for a man not to want sexual relations with his soon to be wife. Think about it– the devil tempts in ways that are delicious. But there are no definitive statements where God says ‘stop it’ as he did when he called an end to sex ones son or daughter or brother or sister and told mankind to keep it outside the 2nd cousin (I believe it’s the second cousin, could be third). What did Jesus mean when he said, "night cometh when no man can work" in John 9:4? I think in this case, there is no way to avoid that once it’s done. The knowledge of the will of God for their lives was far from them, because they did not diligently seek the truth and knowledge. All of God’s instructions regarding multiple wives start with a conditional “if”, much like the commands about divorce. I’m a child of god as we all are. Genesis is quite clear: One man and one wife. One of the most popular tourist activities of Dubai is the … more. It would be wrong of me to pass them off as doctrine. Multiple Wives are very successful if done correctly. No argument there. He was so excited to have Rachel as his wife that the Bible says it seemed as only a few days. It is a archetype of the church’s relationship with God, or God’s people with God. God did not change His perspective, or He would have had Paul say that all the men of the church should be the husband of one wife. In other words while we were created in God’s image Jesus is God created in man’s image. Well Jay Dee you too are trying hard to ignore other portions of the Bible such as: 2 Samuel, chapter 12, verse 8, when God said to David, I gave you your lord’s house and your lord’s wives for your own. Why did they have, why could they have, why were they never rebuked for having many women- wives and concubines, why did God offer David even more if he would have asked, why could the men take sex slaves of the captives, why did Paul and Jesus never address the Jewish men of their time and tell them to stop having concubines etc, why did Jacobs wive give him permission to have sex with his concubine and God never condemn him or her for it? God doesn’t need you speak on his behalf. Yes, marriage is between one man and one woman. Assuming that one marries just for sex or that they will only be seeking pleasure during every moment of their life is not only false but the height of stereotyping. In the Doctrine and Covenant it says “David also received many wives and concubines, and also Solomon and Moses my servants, as also many others of my servants, from the beginning of creation until this time; and in nothing did they sin save in those things which they received not of me. If we look at the context of the times, Sarah’s giving Hagar as a wife had nothing to do with anything other than saving personal humiliation at not having children in her tent (look at the examples of Rachel and Leah and see those were nothing more than vindictive sibling rivalries). In other words, this was a disgraced offshoot of God’s people, no longer in a relationship with God. The most obvious example is Gen. Does God intend for some marriages to be sexless? I received a question this week in my inbox. Yes. 3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: 4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 1Tim 3:2 lays out a requirement for somebody becoming a Bishop that they be the husband of ‘one wife’, which can be seen as implying there were faithful early Christians with plural wives, as was allowed among the Jews back then. Therefore, Abraham lived before the old law and was subject to the law of the land, which at that time, was the nation of Elba. This also explains why he holds the view that he has the right to marry (and this next is critical to my weaving of this theory) a “believing” wife (1 Cor 9:5). But, beyond that, its legalistic to need chapter and verse to tell you what you know is wrong. Pregnant women get a break. As I told my ‘shrink’, after finally reaching a conclusion, “I can deal with the pains, I can deal with the rejections, I can deal with the failures, I can deal with the physical illnesses & struggles, I can deal with the deaths of my first three children. It doesn’t negate or abandon God’s promises to them, and it doesn’t state that she resorted to this as an ‘instead of’ option rather than ‘in addition to’. Yes, it may cause some struggles, but struggles are good, conflict is an opportunity for growth. Abraham was sitting outside at the entrance to his tent when he saw three men standing nearby. We still see that today. • – Genesis 2:24. So do your best to study from the stance of what lines up Biblically and not what would introduce a new line of Thought. You also have counter examples like the prophet Samuel who’s father had two wives. If one wife is not selfish, then neither will 2 or 3 or 4 if motivations are based on love. Polygyny may be taboo in Western Evangelical culture, but last time I checked they didn’t write the rules on marriage or morality; hardly so. Most translations actually say bosom, but they pretty much all imply given as true “wives”, and that means “relations” just by Jewish Law alone. I’m not arguing in favor of multiple marriage. But I’m confused…where does it say the virgins are to be his bride? Simon Peter wrote that God: did not spare the ancient world, but saved Noah, one of eight people, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood on the world of the ungodly (2 Peter 2:5). He was cut off for killing his brother. Deep and thought provoking. With what Solomon said and the other verses that speak of marriage in a singular manner, I think you have to take into account that while polygamy was allowed, it was rare as the men were obligated by the law of Moses to provide for all their wives and children. It’s suppose to sharpen you, test you and force you to grow by exposing your weak area. I come from an interesting family because my mom’s side is ethnically Jewish. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. This being the breaking of Gods words when he warned us not to speak for him but to simply teach what he had given us without altering his words. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Godly offspring. 3 Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. Someone once said, if anyone tells you they have the truth, run far away, very fast. – 1 Corinthians 7:2, Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, – 1 Timothy 3:2. I am so far from knowing the truth that I cannot see the horizon. And yes, I agree there. Those verses are a warning against gross excess only. We can also take verse 24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. I know, it’s harder, but it is possible. Not three or more. That’s why Joseph was told by God in a dream, “DO not be afraid to take Mary ad thy wife…..” if his mother was to be just a young girl Jesus purpose would have always been questioned, even today. When God is silent we’d all do well to simply humble ourselves and accept it. As far as 2 Samuel, I’ll have to disagree: 2 Samuel 12:8 (ESV) And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. I like my sexuality and marriage talk with a little theology, otherwise, what is there to separate it from the godless mainstream? So if God could make Jesus with the Virgin Mary, why did he allow the polygamous situation with Jacob and 4 women? His story is one of God showing His power. A man and a woman together is very good. That was one heck of indiscretion. A man must have at least one one to lead. Ezekiel 23. I believe this makes a strong marriage and strong family. Anonymous. In such a case the civil authority has nothing to do in the matter.} Stop misusing story’s to portray your feelings. God did not say wards, but wives. 1 Corinthians 7:2. As for sharing the title of God, God’s first name in the Hebrew bible is Elohim, which is a plural. Short answer: 8 people Bible reference: Genesis 7:13 “In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark.” The Bible calls Noah “a preacher of righteousness” [2 … He rules 3 years before his former supporters turn on him. He would have given David another wife. Here God clearly states that a man should be joined to his wife (singular) to become one flesh. And a husband must not divorce his wife. But I’m not sure what relevance that has in this discussion. Monogamy was around long before then. • In Roman society, polygamy was already illegal among it’s citizens, however, there were some other cultures who were polygamous – so, then what do you do when you have a polygamous family join the church? But I know you know this, so you must be trying to make another point I’m still missing. Our son said to our youngest son, “You are like my brother from another mother,” and he laughed. Catholicism adopted a lot of Pagan Roman practices, which were actually Babylonian practices before that. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 is clear that each man should have one wife and each women one husband. We should do everything that we can to please God without bringing any harm to his children. Genesis 1:27 and 2:24, Exodus 20:18, Mathew 19:3-6 1 Timothy 3:2 even expressly forbids it for elders, but then also writes the verse mentioned above, so Paul seems clear in this idea that all marriages should be singular to that couple. What are some verses to deepen our faith when we feel afraid? There is no different spiritual outcome for either choice. To me that seems like projecting current day views back into the past. Welcome to the community! That doesn’t mean God is condoning his neighbour sleeping with his wives, but rather that there would be chaos and unlawfulness. States quite plainly 1:1 ration of man to woman for the perfect mix. It shows two arch-types, not showing an example of polygamy. He felt true sorrow at what he had down. The institutionalized Catholic church’s doctrines changed the way we think about marriage for the layman and the leaders of the church. If we want strong families, husband and wife must sexually bond often. The first polygomy was in Gen.4 when Lamech took two wives. The law is still valid, in that it still shows us, daily, that we need Christ, and daily we need to bear our cross and die to self so that Christ can live in us. It all goes back to a mother that did not love me. The concept is offensive to those who define marriage based of feelings and “falling in love”. So, when did it change? It’s true, some languages don’t (like Japanese for example), but Hebrew definitely did. What I find even more interesting, in responding to you in particular, is that the Book of Mormon (The LDS Third Testament for those that don’t know) seems to denounce polygamy as well: Jacob 1:15 – And now it came to pass that the people of Nephi, under the reign of the second king, began to grow hard in their hearts, and indulge themselves somewhat in wicked practices, such as like unto David of old desiring many wives and concubines, and also Solomon, his son. I admittedly don’t know per se all the Jewish customs of the day and their relevance, but when I read this I can’t help but think that the heavy use of the word ‘bridegroom’ and ‘virgin’ conotates the action taking place between the main protagonists in the story. He must not accumulate for himself large amounts of … I thought they were his friends that were to accompany him into the banquet (a custom at the time, as I understand). As for David, even if I accept your take that ‘more’ mean ‘more of anything other than more wives’, 2Sam 12:8 VERY clearly spells out in no uncertain terms that God gave David several wives previously. One relationship is hard enough. It’s no wonder that I’ve lost the desire to live. Trust me when I say I understand the high discomfort level with this topic, and often strong emotions about this can make it hard to be objective about the text of the scriptures, but faith needs to be built on a foundation of truth, not wishful thinking. Jacob was tricked. In the original Hebrew, that would disqualify them to lead. So I guess my response back to you Jay Dee is that according to what Jewish custom I do know is that the Bridegroom came looking specifically for these 10 women, which with what I know of custom and the matter of fact way of how the scripture reads they were his intended betrothed. People just end up living life by their own lust and standards and try to justify it. My life has been such an awful failure, with endless pain, that I wish that I had never been created, conceived, and born. I am a male. Gideon was the son of a weak family of a weak clan of a weak tribe in Israel. I sure don’t. In Jacob’s time it was forbidden, but there were some back then who pointed to David and Solomon to justify their doing it anyway. Your desire to live should come from your relationship with God, not your relationship with your spouse, and the impetus should be “what I can do for Him”, not “what can I get out of life”. I think I answered all of these above. It was implied using that term. The second God made Eve, God had 2 wives. My life was never worth the pain: not before, not now, and never will be. I find hints to this in his statements about if the “unbelieving spouses” forces a divorce, a Christian is then free to marry in the Lord. It’s there to make you holy. The thing that I remember most about my childhood.. are the beatings. Sin often has long standing consequences, even after conviction, confession and repentance. So God did make more people so there was to be no incest as well. Rather than the one that turns the rest of scripture on it’s head? For all I know some of us are without sin and don’t intend to do so. I don’t think He ever changed His mind on this. Does it not make more sense to take the one that is inline with the rest of scripture? Excerpt - Hosea 1:2 Hosea's initial call to the prophetic ministry began with perplexing instructions to find a wife among the promiscuous women of Israel (of which there were apparently many; 4:14). The same statement is in the New Testament (1 Timothy 3:2). The wording of Deut 17:17 about wives is just like the wording of the verse before speaking of horses, yet who suggests that it means a king can only have one horse and never more than that? So, if all this is still valid, what do we do with the Old Testament and the issue of polygamy, of having multiple wives? We won't send you spam. Does that help answer the question? Archeological discoveries have found that Elbaite laws pertaining to using your maidservant to bear your children when your wife was barren were common, thus the reason why Sarai gave him Hagar (Gen 16). It seems your church leadership have come to the conclusion that it is immoral as well. The technical term is “polygyny”; the others imply also multiple husbands. Bathsheba would fall into that category of being a wife David recieved not of God, so the condemnation of David and Solomon that Jacob made is valid, but limited to specific instances where they violated the rules they were supposed to follow, not a condemnation of all polygamy at any time. So they translated the Greek to say a leader must be a man of but one wife. God never defines why polygamy was acceptable. Actually if the high quality husbands of America would take on second wives of single mothers who were abandoned by dead beat dads, you would decrease your use of social programs and raise the next generation with Godly fathers. What if they really fought each other and didn’t get along at all, would that be grounds to say having more than one child is wrong? Genuine question for you JayDee…. They say things like “Jesus changed everything”, and yes, while Jesus died to save us, and that’s monumental, really, Jesus didn’t change anything while here. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. If we take responsibility for our own actions this world would be improving one person at a time. Dueteronomy 10:17 says God is the “Lord of Lords” and Revelation 17:14 says Jesus is the “Lord of Lords” And then of course there is John 1 which clearly states that Jesus is the Word and the Word is God. Therefore Jesus had to be born of a virgin, just as his conception was of God. If having plural wives was morally wrong, God would not have given him more wives already. One spouse is already a big distraction from being able to dedicate one’s life to God’s mission fully, but God gave us that concession of having a spouse so that we are not distracted by lust and so we don’t fall prey to adultery. I have much respect for what you’re doing here. Not 401ks and worldly social programs). But marriage is hard! In the Bible, I see a continuity, a single, continuous, clear statement about marriage from God: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. I think he longed for the days of simplicity. If I had two kids, and one teases the other a lot, was it then contrary to God’s will for me to have two kids rather than just one? The marriage died long ago.. but we’re still together….. even though it’s “a legality” and has descended into a ‘marriage of convenience’… with some legitimate concern for our adult children. The word bosom is ambiguous. There is nothing in the scriptures to indicate that Abram doing this constituted any kind of ‘straying’ from God’s will. But most western church goers do not know Torah well, so this goes without notice. Hosea 9 provides the scriptural basis for this symbolism) Signs of the End of the Age: T3: Matthew 24 - … But we must remember that marriage is not there to make you happy. This is not quite true, but I see where it’s coming from. Is it.. the earthly equivalent of the unforgiveable sin? You’re looking at this from a polygamy view, and the Bible *never, ever* allowed polygamy. Check out our introduction to sex toys post for some ideas. Many wives living as ONE with one Groom, is the very Biblical story of the Messiah and HIS many brides who were commanded to live as one. I was thinking of this exact question today in my studies! Solomon is another difficult one, because he was given wisdom, directly from God, yet had hundreds of wives and concubines.
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